Am I retired or am I a writer?

I quit my job in 1999 to write full time. That was 11 years ago. I struggled with saying I was a writer because I make very little money and our society defines success in those terms. So I began saying I was retired and writing my memoir.

But my memoir was published one year ago. It's an attitude thing. If I say to myself, I am a writer, than when I don't write, I feel awful. If I say I'm retired, then if I don't write, it doesn't matter, because by definition, retired means you don't have to work anymore.

That doesn't feel good to me. I want to be productive. These are the best years of my life. I am healthy, injury free, seem to have physical energy I haven't had before since losing all the weight.

I need a paradigm shift. Maybe it's not about what I am, but who I am. Because really, I am a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister-in-law, a dancer, a singer, and I write. I don't do anything for a living anymore, but I write because I have things inside me that seem to want to express themselves. Whether anyone else ever sees those things -- well, I can't let that stop me from self-expressing. It took me so many years to find my Self, I can't lose it now by not giving that Self a forum.

So I guess I am both--retired and a writer. But the next time someone asks me what I do, I'm going to say, I'm living my life trying to be the best Karen I can possibly be.

Blessings,
Karen